Miracles of Sorting
by roseusvortex
Summary: The Sorting Hat can only handle so many children... what is with these hair colors, anyway?


**My. First. Ever. Crossover. Fic. Yes~ I did it! Sorting Hat with KnB characters. Yes, I wouldn't be surprised if it is very common. But this is my own version. I wanted to do something that would have me experiment with each personality of GoM. Hey, I need practice...in writing and writing in-character... or just writing fanfics in general...**

 **Inspired by: KnB and Harry Potter being the two fandoms I am exploring and fangirling over at the moment, boring homework, and wondering what would happen if Akashi was in Hufflepuff. ;p  
**

 **I hope everyone enjoys this! The ending is kinda bleh. But I didn't know what to end it on...aaaand if I get reviews, maybe I should turn it into a multi-chap...? Maybe GoM at Hogwarts? Maybe a Sorting Hat version with Seirin?  
**

 **Please, please, please, review?**

* * *

"Akashi Seijuuro!"

...

 _"Oh? Interesting... I think I know exactly what place you belong."  
_

"I didn't expect an old hat would be Sorting us into our houses."

" _Well, you don't expect much out of others, do you? Now, now, no need to tense up. I don't have to look into your mind to see your childish superiority to others. "  
_

"I take no pleasure in hearing that from object that probably gathers dust on a shelf for a year. Do people often forget you exist?"

 _"Very much like your father when he was Sorted all those years ago. Let's not get into petty insults. I have quite a number of children to go through."  
_

"I already know where I wish to go."

 _"So I see. Not that I am surprised. You're a pureblood and you have quite cunning nature."  
_

"Then say the name, already."

" _Patience, child. The mind is far more interesting than you give it credit for, there are many pieces and thoughts that are in your mind. Whether you know they are there or not."  
_

"Are you saying I don't know myself?"

 _"I am saying... that there are many things to be wary of. Now, let me finish my duty in Sorting you. Let's see... definitely have potential for Ravenclaw, very intelligent, oh... you focus more on the knowledge rather than people..."  
_

"Thank you."

 _"That wasn't a- well, perhaps not Hufflepuff then. You focus far more on your own ideals to be loyal to anyone elses."  
_

"Other people's ideals are nothing."

" _The reason this taking so long is because you keep interrupting!"  
_

"My apologies."

 _"Hmmph. You could be noble, but Gryffindor still isn't you-"  
_

"Gryffindors are idiots."

 _"You just like having the last word, don't you? Calm it. I have over thirty or more students to Sort before this over, and already I am exhausted with you. Anything else?"  
_

"..."

 _"Anyway, while Gryffindors may have some...questionable tendencies. They aren't afraid of who they are. You have it in you. I doubt you will ever come close to touching it without someone else to help you. You are too unsure of who you are and you doubt your capablities even when you know you will succeed. There is no doubt in my mind, that when the choice appears before you, you will fail to take the Gryffindor path."  
_

"Wha-"

 _" I am just an old hat, Seijuuro. Be careful. There was another young boy like you once. And like you, he wanted power.  
_

"You know nothing."

 _"I suppose I don't. Still... like that young boy, I think you better be...SLYTHERIN!"_

* * *

"Aomine Daiki!"

...

 _"...I know when the Headmaster said they accepted anyone into Hogwarts...I didn't expect them to accept people with no talent."  
_

"Oi! That was out of line, you dirty litt-"

" _Right, let's drop the language, young man."  
_

"Tch..."

" _Not Slytherin, despite being pureblood, you are way too brash and out of hand for that house. You may have ambition, but nothing sly nor cunning exist in you. Not a hint of Slytherin..."_

"Like I want to be asscociated with that damn snake house!"

 _"Mhmm, your temper is quite impressive. You have an attitude problem, rather obnoxious, and extremely lazy."  
_

"Thank you."

 _"That's not- honestly, what is with these children. You are not destined for Hufflepuff. Helga would burn my fabric if I dared put someone like you in her beloved house."  
_

"What the hell is a Hufflepuff?"

" _I- not, Ravenclaw. I don't see a speck of intelligence in you, you would get trampled and murder alive if you voiced your opinions about books and knowledge in Ravenclaw."  
_

"Why, you! Is this all you can do? Insult people!"

 _"I can do far more than that. My, the children this year are a talkative bunch. I'm afraid the place you should go is Gryffindor's house."  
_

"Hell yeah!"

 _"At the very least you seem enthusatic. You are brave, rather foolish, but your heart is filled with good intent."  
_

"Hey, make Tetsu get into Gryffindor with me!"

 _"I place the students where they belong. If your friend belongs in the house of the noble and brave, then he will be Sorted there. But as for you... I hope you will be able to face yourself one day and be brave enough to turn away."  
_

"Eh?"

 _"Take it from an old hat. Even Gryffindors lose their way. As I told a young boy long ago, I do believe I sort you children far too soon. That being said, your place is going to be...GRYFFINDOR!"_

* * *

"Kise Ryouta!"

...

 _"Not another one..."  
_

"Woah! You can talk? How can you talk? You are a hat, aren't you?"

" _A muggleborn, I see..."  
_

"Yep, found out about magic a couple weeks ago. Boy, I'm so excited! I can't wait to meet new people!"

 _"You are exciteable, rather jumpy, with a deep thirst to prove yourself to others. "  
_

"My sister always said I was unique!"

" _You depend on other people while you hide what you truly believe in behind joy and charisma. Which is saying much, since you are only eleven... really...How impressive. To create multiple personalities to gain friendship or to gain favors is very cunning. Maybe Slytherin...hmm.."  
_

"Eh? You mean the green house?"

" _...yes, the green house. Your mind is always learning, but you catch up on knowledge too quickly to appreciate its value. Ravenclaw is not the house for you."  
_

"..."

 _"Your loyalties lie with your friends, but for the time it takes to build such a bond is not quick nor vey easy. Hufflepuff would do you no favors, especially when you hide behind a mask."  
_

"...hmm. You really can see in my mind, can't you?"

" _Yes, that is why I was created. To look through people and help their future path be decided. As for you... I'm quite torn..."  
_

"Oh no! Where? I can tell the teachers and we can patch you right up with some fabric and a needl-"

" _...no, not- don't you dare come near me with a needle."  
_

"Eek..."

 _"Gyffindor and Slytherin are the two choices for you...and I think-"  
_

"Isn't the green house big on being pureblood rather than muggleborn?"

" _Yes, while it isn't official...it is the most common house for purebloods. How interesting that you would know..."  
_

"Eheh... I met someone on the train who told me. Ah! You sorted him earlier! His name is-"

" _Aomine... yes, if only I could forget."  
_

"Isn't he awesome?!"

" _No. Moving on, I guess...as much as I would like to sort you into Salazar's house, for you would truly belong amongst them. I feel it only right if I place you somewhere with a friend...which would be...GRYFFINDOR!"_

* * *

"Kuroko Tetsuya!"

...

" _Ah, you seem rather quiet. Now, now, no need to be afraid. You are a halfblood?_ "

"I grew up around muggles and I only learned about magic a few months ago. I consider myself muggleborn."

 _"_ _Interesting view. Be wary of others around you. Some don't share similiar views. Ah, I see you know Aomine. You wouldn't be Tetsu, would you?"  
_

"Yes."

 _"He mentioned you. Would you like to be in the same house as him?"  
_

"I would like to go... where I belong. And if that where is Aomine is, I'll be very happy."

" _Hmm, you share some of the same personality as him. Though, you are far less headstrong and out-going as him. Prefering to keep more in the shadows than share your views openly, which differ from many children your age. Slytherin is not for you... while you may seek to be seen, you are not cunning."  
_

"Thank you."

 _"It wasn't a- oh, nevermind. You love knowledge, yet you may fail to use it in dire times. Ravenclaw is not for you either. Hufflepuff, however, is a high choice. You are loyal to those you hold dear and that is something you should be proud of."  
_

"..."

"... _You're so quiet it's disturbing.."  
_

"No. I'm really happy."

" _Really?"  
_

"Yes."

"..."

"..."

 _"Right. Your unique views for what you consider to be right decisions to make in a differing situations is what I shall use to decide your house. Remember... just because someone is in a house, does not tie them forever to these views. People change."  
_

"I'll shall remember that. Thank you."

 _"Your house, Kuroko...shall be...GRYFFINDOR!"  
_

* * *

"Midorima Shintaro!"

...

 _"Oh? This a surprise. You know the red-haired young boy?"_

"You mean Akashi, yes, we are acquaintances"

 _"Of course you are. What are they teaching children nowadays. Acquaintances is so ancient..."  
_

"Are you mocking me?"

" _No. Children are so techy. Let's get this going. Out of all the children I have Sorted, you are rather uptight."  
_

"I don't like you either."

 _"Right... Hufflepuff isn't you, rather stand-offish and you prefer to follow luck than to follow a leader. I don't think you could find someone worthy enough to put your loyalty into to. You would never fit in. As for Ra-"  
_

"You are mocking me! I'm being insulted by hat how da-!"

" _A bit sensitive for Gryffindor, no doubt people would turn on you the minute they saw you. The glasses aren't really a thing in that house. The red would clash dreadfully with your hair."  
_

"Don't interrupt me!"

 _"The last two would suit you best. The cunning mind you possess would come in great use amongst Salazar's house, that I'm quite sure-"  
_

"No..."

 _"? You are requesting a house, that's strange. With your pride, I never thought you would actually request for a house. "  
_

"I want to be in Ravenclaw."

" _Yes, that house would suit you very well. Your love for knowledge and your personality would fit... Oh? You are a halfblood. Far be it from me to place a halfblood in the Slytherin house. Although, it wouldn't matter. Halfbloods equally blend in that house. Maybe the Rowena's house would fit you after all...Tell me, why do you wish to be place there?"  
_

"W-Well, it's obviously the best house at Hogwarts!"

 _"Oooh. Could it be that young boy? I see in your mind, despite the dreadfully boring place it is..."  
_

"Oi!"

 _"There is someone else you met that wishes to be in Ravenclaw, no? A...Takia?...Oh, Takao, is it?"  
_

"He is anoying! I wouldn't want to be in any house near him."

 _"Your thoughts tell me otherwise... Well, since you have been rather irritating these past few minutes and I do love a good friendship...the best for you is...RAVENCLAW!"_

* * *

"Momoi Satsuki!"

...

" _Ah, you seem like a polite young lady"  
_

"Thank you! You seem like an interesting hat."

 _"You flatter me, m'dear. Now, lemme see... it shouldn't be too hard to Sort you. Slytherin, while you are quite sly, is not really you."  
_

"Nope! I'm halfblood anyway. Slytherin would skin me alive."

" _They are known to be tolerate of hal- oh, you are his friend?"  
_

"Hmm? Aomine is my childhood friend, we grew up together in the same neighborhood."

" _My condolences."_

"Hehe. I apologize on behalf of him, if he gave you a hard time...which he probably did."

 _"Loyal, I see. Hmm. Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw are both very suitable houses for you. Your thirst for knowledge and information would certainly please Rowena, you would be quite suited for her house."  
_

"So I've been told."

 _"Couldn't go wrong with Hufflepuff either. You would make a loyal follower and Helga would delighted for such an addition to her house. I still think would soon be Sorted to...RA-"  
_

"Wait!"

 _"Hmm?"_

 _"_ I think...I would...prefer Gryffindor?"

 _"Why?"  
_

"I would rather stay with Daiki...he gets in so much trouble sometimes and we've been together forever so..."

 _"With him? If you insist... As must as I admire loyalty, one must remember not throw away their future based on friendship... always think on that, m'dear. Nevertheless, it's your choice...GRYFFINDOR!"  
_

* * *

"Murasakibara Atsushi!

...

" _Ah, hello- wait, are you eating?"  
_

"Yes~"

 _"Well, stop it! I won't have you putting crumbs on my fabric! How did you even get food up here wih a teacher standing right over there."  
_

"They don't care."

" _I do! Stop eating."  
_

"Don't wanna~"

" _I can already assume from your speech that Ravenclaw is out of the question. Extremely...extremely out of the question. Are you still eating?"  
_

"Yes~"

" _Why? The feast starts in...about an hour. You can hold out till then."  
_

"Too long."

 _"Hufflepuff is not you. Nothing in your attitude nor mind has anything to do with loyalty or kindness."  
_

"Should I say thank you?"

 _"No. I just insulted you."  
_

"Okay~"

 _"The children this year are monsters...wait, are you even a first year?"  
_

"Yes. "

" _You can barely sit on this stool..."_

"Not my fault. Just put me with Akashi and let me go already. You are annoying~"

 _"The red haired kid? Oh, I see. Both purebloods. You aren't Gryffindor, more of a child if anything... Godric would have kittens if I put you in his house."  
_

"Gryffindors are idiots~"

" _You share similiar pureblood thoughts with the typical Slytherin..."  
_

"You are annoying~"

 _"I'm- Hey! Keep your grubby hands off me! Get off!"  
_

"Hmmph."

 _"They stopped you because children aren't supposed to interfere with the Sorting process. Much less supposed to remove me!"  
_

"Be quiet~"

 _"I'm going to Sort you right now. I'm exhausted with dealing with children like you. At least the others were mature. Hmmph. I've put worse in...so Salazar shouldn't be too cross with me...Better be...SLYTHERIN!  
_


End file.
